Charlie was married at the beginning of May. It was a beautiful ceremony, however I have to admit it was really hard. I managed to keep my inner turmoil hid. I was so happy to see my brother happy, but it broke my heart because it made me think of Taylor.
I had a major shoulder surgery June 2nd. I had torn my bicep and tricep away from my bicep tendon, as well as pinched a nerve between my clavicle and Rotator Cuff. Joy! That was a miserable few days after surgery trying to figure out how to live without moving my arm. Thankfully Charlie and Jovonna, were there for me.
On top of that, today I went to see my friend Mitchell in the hospital. He was in a car-motorcycle accident and broke his forearm in half. Yikes! Visiting him in the hospital was so hard. I couldn't even believe that I was there. After a few hours of joking around, I left.
I made it out to my car without too much difficulty but just simply broke down as soon as I sat down. Watching my brother get married, being in the hospital myself and visiting Mitchell brought back all the memories from last summer and Taylor. The more I tried to push it out of my mind, the worse it became. I guess the timing is just bad. I don't know. Slow jams were on the radio tonight when I got in my car, so I just hit a button...conveniently a Chris Cagle song came on the radio...and it happened to be "our song." This was just the icing on the cake....I lost all control and began to sob.
I mean, I really thought I was over this, but maybe not. I don't even know what to do with myself. Some of my friends have been trying to set me up with guys, but nobody seems to be able to "fit" just the way I want or need them to. I just really don't know what to do.
I suppose for me, it's best to just keep busy with work and school...so I will! Here I am at work as a Utah Highway Safety intern at Rocky Mountain Raceways :)
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